Happy Friday everyone!
I've been in the midst of learning a tough lesson over the past couple of weeks and I feel inspired to share about it as it's something others may be able to relate to as well.
I'm not going to get into any details about the situation that triggered this growth opportunity (which is the "spiritual" way to say that it was a situation that was hurtful and challenging to deal with) but basically I was put in a place with another person where my truth and their truth seemed to conflict, and feelings where hurt on both sides.
Oh this thing called relationship! How I love it (Not! ... says the little person in my mind...we all have that little person that just wants to tantrum about how stupid and hard it all is and just hide away! Gota just love that little person through it, it's all going to be okay!)
So my pattern in the past has been to avoid conflict at all cost, even if it means betraying myself, my own intuitive sense of what is right. And I have done that, many times, and I've learned that all that comes out of giving my power away to try and make other people happy is that I end up feeling bitter and deflated, and it doesn't ever actually help the person or situation get better, it just allows codependent patterns to continue in an unhealthy way, until finally I have to just completely remove myself from the situation.
And now I'm on the threshold of finally breaking free from this pattern once and for all, and it's scary as hell!
I hate the feeling that my speaking my truth and standing in my power could hurt someone or make someone else upset, that's the last thing I want to do!
And I so badly want to do the "right" thing, handle the situation in the "highest" most "loving" way possible.
But I realized that I've been so scared of hurting other people's feelings and being so concerned that I wont say and do the highest most "spiritual" thing that I've been missing the most simple fundamental truth of it all.
And that, as one of my teachers Matt Kahn reminded me of, is that my will and God's will (Spirit, Source, the Universe) are the same. We are all God dressed up in the play of form, we can't really hurt each other, we can only experience hurt as a way to highlight the beliefs we've been holding onto that are not true so they can be released so we may more fully express who we REALLY are.
So to put it simply, when I feel like saying "No" to someone, if that's really what I feel, and I did in this situation, then that's the Truth speaking through me. It doesn't mean that it's okay to project onto someone else, or retaliate in anger, but I had to give myself permission to trust my gut feeling, and sometimes the most loving thing we can do is say No, even if it means the other person will be upset by it.
And the hurt that I have experienced in receiving the words of this other person have highlighted for me the belief that I'm not good enough or "spiritual" enough, or powerful enough, and that's a belief that I'm shedding now to be replaced by the unwavering certainty of my Divine heritage, inherent goodness and innocence, even if I fumble around and make mistakes here on my human journey. And perhaps the hurt the other is experiencing is causing the same kind of response.
So it's all good! I can release this other person from having any power over me by loving and acknowledging the beliefs they trigger, while still standing my ground with my simple "No" as long as that feels true.
I don't need to try and prove how "enlightened" I am by being able to give everyone what they want from me, because I already am Enlightenment experiencing what it's like to be a human, and being a human means defining the perimeters of our experience so we can create the perfect circumstances to express who and what we came here to express as unique reflections of the Source.
So I can hold everyone in my heart as reflections of the One, but it doesn't mean I need to invite them all over for coffee! Having good healthy boundaries in life doesn't close your heart down, it causes your heart to open more, because you are daring to honor and love yourself first, and that's the highest service any of us can offer. Seriously!
So here's to no longer being a Spiritual Doormat, and instead being the doorway itself, opening in to your own heart, honoring it's sacredness, and trusting its wisdom, knowing that whatever choices are made from that place here in the dance of polarity are automatically for the good of All, no matter how it appears on the surface.
And we rest in this truth! Yay God!
Love,
~Jessica
www.EffortlessLivingCoach.com
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