As I was
sitting down to write this article, musing on the topic of “Connection,” it
came to me that our natural state as humans and as spiritual beings is one of
connection – of Oneness with all that is. I look out my window and see how
Nature works so perfectly in harmony with itself. It’s all connected, every
aspect of it supporting and nourishing everything else in a beautiful rhythm, and
we are a part of that.
So if this is our natural state
already, why don’t we experience that in our daily lives? Why do we go around
so stressed out and worried trying to pay the bills, take care of our kids, get
ahead in our careers, never feeling like we have enough – enough of anything –
time, money, or love. Somehow we got disconnected from our natural
connectedness, and the question is, how can we get it back?
Children have it, young children
especially. They experience life with pure openness, awe, and wonder. Somewhere
along the way growing up, we harden into these “adult” beings, with a fixed way
of thinking and experiencing life.
We form a framework of beliefs,
habitual thoughts, and expectations of ourselves, other people, and life that
all of our experiences filter through. When this happens, we are no longer
living in direct contact with Life itself, as we did when we were children. We
are living separated from Life, within this framework of who we think we are.
This framework is not for nothing.
It serves a purpose. And that purpose is to protect us from the unresolved
emotional hurts of our past. It’s like a shell of protection we create to
ensure we never have to feel that way again, because we never learned how to
express and feel our feelings in a healthy and safe way.
So we go along in our life, trying
to be the people we think we should be in order to avoid further pain. Treating
people the way we think we should treat them to avoid rejection. Making the
choices that maintain our current view of reality, because even though it may
be unhappy, at least it’s safer then opening to what is true deep down that we
don’t want to face.
But our Soul can only take that for
so long. Eventually it calls us with its still-small-voice in the heart and
says “it’s time to wake up! It’s time to
face the truth. It’s time to heal. It’s time to remember who you REALLY are!
You weren't meant to live this way, there is more to you then this!”
If you are reading this article,
then you have already answered that call. And so our healing journey begins.
Our quest for the Real – to know ourselves as we actually are, not just as
we’ve been conditioned to think we are, and remember our connection to the
whole.
One of the common traps when we start
on a spiritual journey of personal healing though is we come at it with an
attitude of “I want to know what is real…..but only the good stuff. I don’t
really want to know the dark stuff, the painful stuff in me that might rock the
boat of my reality too much if I fully face and deal with it.”
But Life (the Divine) loves us so
much that it wants us to have it all. It wants us to know our wholeness on
every level, and feel connected to All that Is, and safe enough to fully show
up in our bodies and in our life.
So what does Life do? It brings us
challenging situations and people that trigger us, that cause the unresolved
emotional pain we’ve carried around for years to come to the surface, so that
we can have an opportunity to heal it fully and have it be released from our
cellular memory permanently, leaving us more free, whole, and embodied than
ever before.
Again, it’s the unresolved emotional
energy that gets locked in our bodies that causes us to feel disconnected from
the One, from the Divine, from Life. Life is constantly conspiring to bring us
back into resonance with that place, to how we were as children, so we can
experience ourselves as a part of the miraculous whole, holy and unique, and
free to express ourselves however we choose.
So what’s the most gentle, loving,
and easy way to cooperate with this process when Life brings us those
opportunities for healing?
The simplest answer is – just open
to it.
Not that we should go around in life
completely boundary-less and take in other people’s toxic energy they may be
projecting at us, all in the name of “opening to it”. That is not a loving or
healthy thing to do. It’s important to have discernment, and make the most
loving choices for ourselves with our boundaries and who we choose to spend
time with.
But we open to ourselves fully in that moment, to how we feel as a result of
whatever is going on, and let that energy surface, be witnessed, embraced with
compassion by our own loving heart, and released.
There’s a practice I use called
Heart Breath Which I’ll share with you here.
Heart
Breath Meditation
1. Event occurs and triggers an
emotional reaction in you. Notice the feelings arising and how they feel in
your body.
2. Put your hand on your heart and start
to breathe slow and deep, directly into the feeling, as if you are breathing
the energy of that emotion up and into your heart.
Usually we want to
suppress the emotion and push it away. We are doing the opposite here, we are
letting it come up, and breathing it into our heart.
Experience the flavor of
that emotion, as if you are drinking it in, giving yourself permission to feel
all your feelings, honoring them as equally valid.
And note – it’s not
necessary to know where in your past the feeling originated, all that’s
important is what is coming up now that is ready to be cleared. It doesn’t have
to make sense, just allow whatever arises to arise how it does.
3. As the energy starts to come up into
the heart, you will notice it begins to shift. The heart is like an emotional
recycling plant, it can transmute the energy of that emotion, releasing it from
your body. Just notice this happening and be willing to let go.
4. You may feel like expressing the
emotion in some way, through tears, or through sound, or through some physical
movement or shaking. This is part of the process as the energy is being
released from your body. Just witness this, and allow whatever expression feels
right in that moment to come out.
5. Emotions come in waves, so stay with
the breath until it feels like the wave has passed through, and all the energy
has been released from your body. More might come up later when you think about
or encounter the triggering event again, and that just signifies that there is
a deeper layer coming up to be cleared. Repeat the process again, as often as
you need, until there is no more emotional charge around the situation.
Life gives us every opportunity to know our inherent wholeness,
and remember our Divine connection to the love that we are. We just have to
accept those opportunities, and be willing to let go of our fixed framework of
reality so we can see and experience the Truth.
With willingness, and the courage to face, love, and accept
ourselves just as we are, we are transformed, reborn, and able to experience
ourselves in a whole new way – as a precious, whole, and unique gift within the
greater Whole of Life.
Namaste.
~Jessica Agnew
~Jessica Agnew
